What have I been up to lately...

I have been reading… stand by this is a long list.


I think the last book I reviewed was “The Great Gatsby” which means the next book I read was “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Housseini. Let’s see here a book written by an Afghani author about the recent history (last 80 years) of Afghan history… hmmm I think this might just be a winner. Ok, not really. The book was about two women (although they both started off as girls) who end up married to the same man. And what starts off as a bitter rivalry between two wives turns into a story of two women that are both victimized by the same man and together they find power and eventually turn on their husband. When the husband starts beating one of the wives the other ones ends up killing him. The murderous wife gets caught but not before the other wife manages to escape and lives a long and free life in Iran… (although I think that is where the fiction really begins) and the other wife ends up being executed by Taliban justice in a soccer stadium while the whole town cheers. Oops did I just ruin the ending for you all, darn. Don’t waste your time. Life sucks over here for these people, but they still haven’t learned how to use toilet paper, so they probably deserve what they get.


After that heart warming feel good book, I turned to “How to Kill A Mockingbird”. This is the wifey’s favorite book. I was a bit disappointed. After reading the title I thought the book would be more of a “How To” than a fictional drama set up in a racially charged era in small town Alabama. I was expecting to learn some tips on how to kill mockingbirds instead I learned of a touching story Jem and Scout Finch and how good always triumphs bad. Ho-hum. I guess expectation management would have really helped. If I knew I was getting into a fiction story I might not have been so disappointed. But, I learned nothing of how to kill mocking birds. So those birds remain on my “not sure how to kill it” list and may stay there until I can find a REAL book on how to kill a mocking bird.


After the disappointment of the 1950’s racial biased era, I felt the need to no be disappointed again. So I picked up a John Grisham book and made sure to read the back of the book so I knew what to expect. This one was called “The Broker”. This is the story of a power hungry lobbyist lawyer who was representing clients that “discovered” a secret satellite surveillance system. When his clients end up dead and his multi-million dollar deal goes south he finds himself landed him in Federal Prison. The CIA convinces the outgoing President pardoned him and banish him from the USA; living a life incognito. That is until the CIA leaks his location to the Chinese, Israeli, Russian, and Saudi intelligence agencies and then watches to see which agency kills him first. But they forgot they were dealing with “The Broker” who turns out to out smart every major intelligence agency in the world and their highly trained assassins. In the end “The Broker” outsmarts the bad guys, convinces the CIA and the Washington Power Elite to help him and returns to Italy to the arms of the woman he fell in love with but never even knew his real name. Yeah, I see that working out. Way to start a relationship on about a thousand lies. Uh huh. Ok, this guy got out of Federal Prison, escaped a dozen of so assassins, got the secret satellite info back into the USA where he continued to outsmart assassins… and the part I find hart to believe is that he actually has a shot at love with the female lead character… wow. I guess if Tila Tequila can have a shot of love (or 3) then this guy should get the chance too.
And I read that book in 24 hours. I found myself stranded at a different base with nothing to do but read. So I did, and I read the entire book in one day. I didn’t mean to there was just nothing else to do.

Anyways after that book I read one my in-laws sent me. Now I have to credit my mother-in-law with the book since it was her name on the return label of the package it was in. But let me tell you the book started off with two strikes against it. When I opened the package I started digging through the box like it was Christmas morning and at the bottom of the box was a book. But all I could see of the book was the “Oprah’s Book Club” logo stamped on the cover. I was immediately deflated and I rolled my eyes. You know how most people complain about their crazy in-laws? Well while the wifey actually has valid reasons to complain I have been very fortunate not to have any “crazy in-law” movements. But when I saw the Oprah’s Book Club logo, I thought to myself “what kind of ‘get in touch with my feminie side’ crap is this crazy woman sending me?” Now to be fair and up front I will admit before I go any further in this story that I was wrong. She didn’t send me any “get in touch with my feminine side” crap and she isn’t crazy. But you can’t blame me from thinking that. It is just the Oprah thing threw me. I mean Oprah was able to convince Dr Phil to completely sell out his own kind, emasculate himself daily on his show “Oprah part II”, and she has convince him to almost completely neutered himself. She has some sort of evil witch power over him and I didn’t want any of that evil on me. Anyways… That was strike one on the book. Strike two was, the book is a thousand pages long. Let me simplify that: 1,000 pages!!! Seriously, 1,000 pages. I pretty much max out at like 250. And books with that many pages have to have pictures in them. This book… no pictures. OMG! Seriously. Oprah endorsed the book AND there are a million pages!?! I had no chance or winning. But utter boredom finally won out and I started reading. The book is “The Pillars of the Earth” by Ken Follett. It is set in the 1100s and although it takes place in the 1100s the characters don’t talk like it is 1100 in England. The cuss using words we use today. And they talk about things probably not talked about back then. I think one character even said “as if”. Like she was a valley girl or something. I thought that the modern language helped. I didn’t get tied up with sentences like “Does thou thither and whom doust thou thither unto?” What does that even mean? Anyways… The story spans like 80 years and each section has years associated with it and a section may fast forward several years from the last section. The first 1/3 of the book is character development and none of the characters tie in together. Chapter 5 has nothing to do with Chapter 7, and none of them were connected to Chapter 1. But as most stories go, all the characters end up connected at least at one point in time and the story quickly builds to that point. Slowly character X runs into character Y and character B crosses path with character G. At the end all the characters are tied together and the aftermath of their encounters are nicely tied up. All in all, this book was one of the best books I ever read in my life. Good recommendation Papa-Bull and Mama-Bull. If any of you have the chance (say a summer vacation or a ten days in the seventh ring of hell (I mean Louisiana) and need a book to read, read this one. You probably wont finish the book as quickly as I did (I read 378 pages one day) but it will be a good read.
But for those that do read the book here is a discussion topic:
With all the characters in the book I ask the question of “who is the main character?” Who is the story really about?
I have my ideas but I will await to hear from you on your thoughts. And I do realize this could take like years to wait for people to get through a billion page book like this but I am patient. I will wait and discuss this later. Did you notice how I never told you anything about the story, I just talked (at length) about the book itself. Now you are curious; maybe even curious enough to read it yourself? Hmmm?


After reading a zillion page book, I took a break. But I succumbed to boredom again, and I read one my dad sent me. “The Last Patriot” by Brad Thor. Just the right book at the right time. A Grisham-like book that villianizes the muslim religion and sets the stage for a counter terrorism fight that started with Thomas Jefferson and the Marines fighting the (muslim) Barbary Pirates in Tripoli. Apparently, Tom Jefferson (or Tom Jeffy as he liked to be called) had found evidence that the Prophet Mohammed had a final peaceful revelation from Allah saying no more religious wars (jihad) and was then executed by his closest friends after he told them about this revelation. Tom Jeffy found evidence that could revolutionize the muslim religion but (much like the DaVinci Code) Tom Jeffy used riddles, codes and code machines to protect this information from falling into the wrong hands. And in the end, the good buy wins and the dirty muslims die. Ok, they didn’t but the good guys (USA) still won. Score one more point for the patriot act! Suck it ACLU!! Bo-yah!
But after reading the book I wondered what would happen if this book became as big as the DaVinci Code. Cause we know how much the Catholic Church loved the DaVinci Code. I think the Pope personally did 100 “hail Marrys” each day damning Dan Brown to hell. So I am sure the muslim world would love this book. If only someone would make a movie about it. Cause the Catholics are too lazy to really do anything about a book twisting the history of their religion but the muslims nation… they are just looking for a reason to put a Jihad on someone. As if Britney Spears and The Real World weren’t reason enough to hate us, let’s make a movie twisting the truth about their most revered leader. I mean, it isn’t like these animals would kill anyone over a fiction book, right?

After that book, I started to read another one my dad gave me, something about human psychology and the different mindsets we have (the child, the adult and the something else). This book was way too much for me. Way too technical and I finally put it down with no intentions of picking it up again. Sorry dad, I tried.

I am also reading the “Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. Another book the Catholic priest gave me. So far so good. Not much of a story, but I will wait until I finish it to review it.

Anyways, That is enough for one day, I’m out.