I almost didn't get to workout

So today at work we had the Marine Corp Cake Cutting Ceremony. Quite boring. Mostly pomp and circumstance for the civilians we work with. An opportunity to parade ourselves around and tell people that we are better than the other services. All while standing in the back row and getting served cake last. I'm sorry I thought this was the MARINE'S birthday cake, not the civilians that work with us... I'm off my soap box but Capt Cue Ball at work agrees with me.

Moving along...
I went to the YMCA (it's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.Aaaa) and there was all this police activity. Luckily I still got into the Y. Rumor has it that the park the YMCA is next to is where Caylee Anthony (google the name, but if you are too lazy... local little girl that went missing a while ago and was totally killed by her mom. I mean this mom is like O.J. guilty) was killed. Diver's apparently found human remains in the river, so police closed down the area. Like I said...luckily I was still able to get my workout in. Started off with a swim but actually did a warm up. I don't normally do that kind of thing (cause I'm always so hot enough...ohhh). Just kidding. Anyways, after the warm-up I did 800 meters as fast as I could alternating between freestyle and breast stroke. 800 meters (or 16 laps) in 16 mins. Not too shabby. After that I did a cool down.
After my swim I got on the dread mill (I mean, treadmill) and ran. I figure if I can run 7 miles an hour I can finish a marathon in under 4 hours easy. So I ran at 7 miles an hour. But around mile 3 music from the Foot Loose soundtrack came on, and I was unable to maintain my slow easy jog. It was like I could control my hand as I pushed the increase speed button making the machine go faster and faster. Luckily my legs were also possessed by the movie ghost of kevin bacon and were able to keep up with my possessed, speed increasing hands. In the end my whole body stayed in rhythm and I kept on running at what I call "Foot Loose Speed". For those of you keeping track "foot loose speed" is just a few notches below "hyper speed" which is just below "ludicrous speed". Those of course were made famous by the movie Space Balls (and if you haven't seen that movie, you are a bad person and Santa Clause won't visit your house until you rent it). So needless to say "Foot Loose Speed" is pretty fast.
Anyways...
Top Five Reason the Marines are the best...
1. Dress Blues
2. Jessica Lynch wasn't one of ours
3. Our Junior Officers can tell the difference between our head and our ass
4. Our Junior Enlisted Leadership (NCOs) really know the difference between their heads and their asses. This critical fact makes #3 possible.
5. Marine Movies get actors like Clint Eastwood (Heart Break Ridge), John Cena (The Marine), John Wayne (Sands of Iwo Jima), Samuel L Jackson (Clear and Present Danger), Will Smith (Independence Day) and Mark Wahlberg (Shooter).
The Army gets actors like Bill Murray (Stripes), Tom Hanks (Saving Private Ryan), Meg Ryan (Courage Under Fire), Tom Hanks (again) (Forest Gump), Alec Baldwin and Ben Affleck (Pearl Harbor).
The Navy gets actors like Tom Arnold (McHale's Navy), Owen Wilson (Behind Enemy Lines) and the Village People (Song: In the Navy).
And finally ... the US Air Force only has one movie about them and it is Air Force One. And they get their plane stolen from them and the President (an Old Harrison Ford) has to save the day.
Game, set, match.