I thought there would be more pictures...

Well I have been able to read while I have been here. I guess with no tv as a distraction I can allocate a bit of each day to reading. This is the latest book I finished. Very good read, but only if you like history. The only down side to the book, it is titled 1776, but the war started before then and kept on going after 1776. So it is like a 12 month look into a war that was much bigger than 12 months. But still a good book.
I'm out, time ran out for the computer access. See you all in a few days...
ARSM

New Family Rule...

For those that know the Super Man and might be on his short list of people to call I am implementing a new rule. It is pretty simple and easy to follow. The rule is this:
When the super man is deployed...answer every single phone call you receive (regardless of what caller ID says) and always have your phone on and near you.
Doesn't sound that difficult but you would be surprised the difficulty in having people answer.
I was going to write more and banter on about nothing really important, but I have decided to let this post be short. Then death of a family member (ok so not my immediate family) has left me speechless and a bit reflective. Just know I that I love you goesonruns (all of you) and will keep you in my prayers.
So, from Camp Bastion, Afghanistan
take care and God bless
ARSM

I’m up, up and away

Ok, no more Superman references…I have a hard enough time explaining I am a super man, two words without adding to the confusion. 

So I’m not sure if Leatherneck will have good connectivity, or at least as good as Kuwait and Kandahar but we will soon enough find out.  I will be there very soon, how soon I can’t say but this may be my last blog at least for a while. I will still email the wifey (and few select few) so check her blog if you are looking for some super man enjoyment… not that she’s a man but she is super.

Anyways, I have the strong desire to change yesterday’s title…it sounds a bit gay…not that there’s anything wrong with that.  So if you are reading this and there is a reference about a dreamy surfer boy in my last blog, then it means I was too lazy to edit it. If you are reading this and my last blog title is only about Canadians (there’s that auto correct again) then don’t pay any attention to my mention of dreamy surfer boys.  Dang it, now this post is starting to sound gay too. Maybe I should edit this one too.  But you know I figure, I did write like 9 posts about my going to the new kids on the block concert (and by the way I never mentioned my middle sister (do you hear the violins playing sad, dramatic music) Lu was so jealous I got to go and she didn’t.  She was so envious that she didn’t go, she may never stop being green…that’s right I said it. bitch!) And by the way I didn’t just call my sister a bitch…I merely said the word directly after a comment made to her, you just inferred I was talking to her.  Shame on you. 

And I was saying… if talking about the NKOTB wasn’t too gay then how would talking about a dreamy surfer boy be gay…even if the surfer boy is French.  Wow, auto correct at work again.  French. France. Like I would capitalize the F, seriously.  I dislike the French too much, kinda like the canadians… I guess I would really dislike the French canadians then, huh?? 

But I digress… how do you know if you actually have A.D.D?  I mean by reading this you probably have a reasonable concern that I am ADD but how to prove this? 
Anyways… Kandahar has been interesting. I went to a local bazaar.  It was bazaar.  It was on base and it was pretty much local Afghan gypsies selling local gypsy crap.  I was going to buy a few things but it was a cash only society and I don’t really believe in case anymore.  I spend it too easily and without regard to where it went once I run out.  So no gypsy crap for me…although I was going to buy DVDs made illegally (probably) so it wasn’t like a total waste of my unborn child’s college fund.  I mean a 22 DVD collection of James Bond movies (to include the most recent ones) for $22 is NOT a waste of money.  I call that an investment. That was I can teach Po what cool is…it is a valuable lesson and investment. Don’t judge me people!

Well, like I said before, I don’t think this Camp Leatherneck will have good connectivity for personal use and this could be my last blog. So take care my peeps (when in reality only three people read this: oldest sister, mom, and wifey) and I will be home before you realize it.

Take Care, God bless….i’m out!

By the way for those of you that know my relationship with my boss in Fl (the Col) I have to tell you I sent a very funny email to him. He apparently was worried since I haven't called or emailed him yet (why would I? he doesn't like me).  So I emailed him and sent him my best regards from Afghanistan...he can't actually fire me, right? And if does that means I get to go home, right?

Oh those crazy canadians…and the dreamy sufer boy

So let me start off by saying that I am in Kandahar right now at the coalition air base.  And this place is unlike anything I have ever seen. I said it was a coalition base right, good because there is no one country in charge of anything here.  There are like 16 different flags flying everywhere.  A country puts a flag up on or near a building so you know who owns what buildings… And no country has buildings next to each other…so there are flags of countries all over the place. Even more fun than flags…there are people from all these different countries all over the place. Now I have been to bases that were U.S. that had a few foreign troops there, but not like this place.  Hundreds of German, Italian, British, Canadian, Australian, other random countries I can’t figure out… so fun.  And their uniforms are fun… the british have a plume in their caps… yeah I said plume – like Jr high school marching band – plumes.  They are short and red but very silly looking.  The Aussies apparently have no regulation when it comes to appearance and  military look.  There is one Australian that looks like a stereotypical blonde surfer dude.  I mean go to surf city, USA and grab a dude off his surfboard and put him in a uniform…same thing.  One Aussie had longer hair than the girl next to him.  Now my sister Lu and I like to pretend we’re british and speak with an accent (hers isn’t very good but I let her play along) but let me tell you…when REAL british people talk, you have no idea what they are saying.  Their accent is SO thick it is like they are speaking gibberish… you mean to tell me we speak the SAME language as them?? You wouldn’t know it listening to them.   Anyways… those crazy Canadians…

Has anyone ever been to Canada?  Pop Quiz then…name the coffee company that is the Canadian equivalent to starbucks?  I know the rest of you “non-canadian-visiting-people” are thinking “who cares? Canada sucks”. You are right but I am playing a meaningless game of trivia, so let me be.  That should have given you “Canadian-visiting-people” enough time to think…the answer: Tim Horton’s…  and with the line of people lined up outside their coffee stand at ALL hours of the day/night, you would think they were giving away drugs.  No joke, a 10 min wait to order a cup of coffee, when every person here probably has their own coffee maker.  So what is so darn special about this coffee? No idea. I’m not drinking that crap.

I just saw a midget.  He is in the Army.  The US Army. He is a warrant officer, which I think means he flies army helicopters.  No joke, he was like waist high. I wish I had been standing up so I could tell you exactly how tall he was. I mean that guy was like midget size…not that there’s anything wrong with that…I’m just saying…he was a midget.

But I digress… Canadians…how much cooler would my story about crazy Canadians be if the midget had been Canadian…so much funnier but alas I can’t lie. 

Focus! Canadians… I find it weird that Microsoft word has pre-programmed into the auto correct feature to change canadians into Canadians.  I can spell british and all I get is a red-squilligly line. Why would bill gates fix this error for me, without my asking…?  He is Canadian. That is my only guess. 

Ahhhh!!! The Aussie with the surfer hair is here… I need to get a picture of him, you won’t believe this.  Like long locks of flowing sunshine…he’s so dreamy… FOCUS!!

Seriously…A.D.D. or what?!?

So the Canadians…in the middle of this crapy NATO base, in the middle of Afghanistan (where it’s like freaking hot) they have a hockey rink built.  Right now, directly behind me there are dudes wearing those giant hockey jerseys with the Canadian leaf on it playing hockey, with hockey sticks. The goalies have pads and a mask and everything.  This was no accidental “pickup” game of hockey.  Ok, so that wasn’t nearly as funny as it is in real life.  I mean, there are grown men running around a hockey rink in the middle of Afghanistan….hockey sucks?!  The hockey rink has that red lead all over the rink, just in case someone forgets whose rink it is.  Who else gives a crap about hockey? NO ONE!! No soccer is the universal sport. I don’t like soccer but I get that it is huge.

Ok, so the Aussie surfer dude could possibly not be Australian… I am listening to some of him and his buddies talk… and they ain’t speaking English…could be Bulgarian…like I know what Bulgarian sounds like…silly boy. They have a flag on their uniform: three vertical stripes red, white, and blue… I could google this but I have a better idea…new game… first person to comment on what country this mystery country is, wins a prize.  Really? No.  Like I have some prize I could give you. Seriously. I am in Afghanistan.  Think about it.

Anyways, I will close my play be play narrative on what I see going on here at Kandahar (or KAF if your cool).  This place is like the wild west and I am sitting in the center of the town at high noon (but with the sun already having set). Everyone walking around, hanging out and carrying guns. There is no common uniform and people are flocking in groups.  Except unlike the wild west, we are supposedly on the same team, fighting together.  But I could easily see a huge brawl breaking out putting country on country in a battle royal. Ok, so my imagination gets away from me, deal with it. But this place is weird.  You have to see it to really get the total weirdness of it…but don’t go and add “visit Kandahar” on your bucket list or anything. It’s not that cool. 

Anyways, I will try to blog again before I move to Camp Leatherneck… it is in the Helmend province and is in Southern Afghanistan about 100 miles west of Kandahar. I will let you know if that place is as crazy as this one.

Take care and to all my peeps that send me a cool birthday message, you guys rock. Sorry if I didn’t reply to any of you, I have been busy. See you all soon

ARSM out.

I love you wifey…

And I'm Off...

Well for my birthday this year, and yes I was going to finally celebrate it, the Marine Corps decided to give me a six-month all expenses paid vacation. I thought, "sweet!", I could use a vacation after all the hard work I do normally....wait, that's not true. I don't work hard.  

Anyways for my birthday they are sending me on this really cool vacation. Too bad I couldn't bring the wifey, but I sure she doesn't mind.  So my flight to my "mystery destination" leaves this evening...and I am sure it will be some really cool, exotic destination.  

Ok, while most of that was total crap the main point being I fly out tonight (my tonight, not yours) to Kandahar. I made sure to spell that out so people like my dad would know how to spell it.  Even though I think it spells like it sounds, I realize I might be in the minority.  It could also be spelled Quandahar in case you try to look it up at weather.com.  

Anyways, not sure if I will be able to blog and stuff while I am there, but here is to hoping. 

 Today's WTF moment: did you know copy right laws prohibit streaming media from playing outside the USA?  That's right, so I am unable to watch The Unit or The Office because they won't stream the episodes outside the USA.  Lame.  Also, Pandora.com (is like a personalized radio station) won't broadcast to me since I am outside the USA. I think there should be a deployed service member override code. That way I could still see The Unit and The Office.  The best shows on TV. 

Ok, so that wasn't that big a deal....so I can't watch tv on my computer in Kuwait. Get over it dude.

Hurry up and Kuwait even more...

Well it took 3 days but I finished reading a book.  Yeah. So when I say I am bored I mean I AM BORED! Hurry up and Kuwait... so I lay in my bed (a plastic covered mattress with a sleeping bad on top of it) probably 20 hours a day and I spend around 12 of those hours reading.  At first I picked up this book because my mom (Marmie, death to mimi) bought tickets for the wifey and I to go see that play. I must admit the play was quite good. My oldest sister said the book was dark, but that description doesn't mean much to mean. I get dark like a color. The sky is dark. But dark being a description for a book? I said "oh yeah, dark" like I knew what she was talking about.  Anyways... the book was really good. It was not like the play, rather the play was not like the book.  Some of it was similar but different enough, you know.  There were some adult themes in the book, but I didn't really understand most of them.  A few bad words here and there but I use a few bad words every now and then so I didn't mind.  I would say if you took all the inappropriate parts of the book and put them together, all in all there were probably about 4 pages in total.  Of a book 400 something pages long, 4 total pages isn't bad.  I think the story was very clever and tangents I found myself being bored with eventually ties together and made the plot even more imaginative.  Overall a good read. 

As I sit and kill time in Kuwait I have been able to skype with the wifey.  No, that isn't anything gross. Skype is a free webcam service that is a lot more user friendly than a lot of the IM programs most of us have used before in the past (AOL, MSN, Yahoo!).  Anyways, ask the wifey if you want my skype name but keep in mind I may not have time to talk to you. Nothing personal it is just internet time can be hard to come by and mins talking to you are mins I am not talking to the wifey.  Just something to consider. I can't skype with everyone. But if you want to try go for it.

 Today's WTF moment is this: How long would you think it takes to fly from Kuwait City, Kuwait to Kandahar, Afghanistan??  If you said 2 days you win.  Seriously, it takes 2 days to fly 1024 miles?? I guess if you are the United State Air Force it does.  

Wait, wait a kuwait some more

Well I have made it to Kuwait.  This place sucks.  Just as crapy as I remember it, somethings never change.  Anyways I am now waiting for a plane out of here so I can get on to Afghanistan and find a new country to hate...I am tired of visiting places I already hate.  

I don't have much more to say than that, but I wanted to let you all know that I made it here safely.  

This past week

I now find myself falling into the category of Capt and Mrs Cueball where I blog rarely and when I do post it is simply a wrap up of my doings... It no longer consists of any actual insight or introspection (learned that word on Kat's blog btw) not that I really had much insight anyways... moving right along...

The wifey and I went to visit the Fam in Texas last week.  Oddly enough the Tejas visit was planned before I found out I was deploying, amazing timing.  We went back to see her parents and a friend of the wifey's from high school was getting married.  It was a good time. We got to break the pregnancy news to people which was SO MUCH FUN.  Well not the actual telling part but the toying with your emotions was fun.  April Fools day is my favorite day of the year now. Ok, maybe not of the entire year but still...

Anyways at the wedding. Let me preface this with there are a lot of small towns in Texas.  The wifey is from such a town and going back to visit brings up such fun filled and amazingly odd experiences for me.  Now before I go and call this a redneck wedding (and I wouldn't do that since there is a chance now that I am linked to the wifey's blog and the bride or close friends could see this and calling them redneck might not be so nice) let me just say that people from small towns are very good people.  They can be a bit country, but I call that more country casual.  Whereas in San Diego, CA casual meant shorts, flip flops and t-shirt optional depending on if the sun was out.  When I heard the wedding in "no-where's-ville" Texas was casual I thought flip flops and shorts.  Apparently I was wrong.  Redneck or country casual means you can wear the same boots you milk a cow in and you can wear your cowboy hat for the entire ceremony.  It means one of the groomsmen is allowed to dip during the ceremony.  Oh yeah, and ball caps (not baseball caps mind you) are allowed for the entirety of the wedding and reception, but only if the hat is: 1. camouflage 2. at least 10 years old, beat up, has sweat rings, and dip stains 3. Is worn not actually on your head but cocked back so the bill points upward and the front of your forehead and bangs show for at least 25mins of every hour, and 4. has either a "bass pro shop" logo on it, UT/A&M/other random texas college logo, or the local auto-body shop logo on it.   Those are the rules people, I am sorry... I didn't make them, I just enforce them.  If you want to complain write your congressman, Willie Nelson, or G Dub (George W. Bush).  

Anyways back to Super Man's Big Country Adventure (I mean the wedding)... so we drive for like 45 mins down "roads" that would hardly be called roads in Iraq yet in America, but trust me they have road signs and street names, they just aren't paved, groomed, or maintained at all. But that's not an issue when you have your father-in-law's car (sorry, I tried to drive nicely but the rocks kept kicking up)... anyways.  We finally get to a very nice house that was built by the groom (very Abe Lincoln-ish if you ask me, I mean the dude built his own house...seriously?) out in the middle of nowhere. I mean you could seriously shoot guns in any direction and 1. no one would hear you and 2. you wouldn't have to worry about hitting anyone.  Again, really nice people.  Anyways the icing on the cake, good cake there, was the golf cart they had.  That's right, when you live a million miles away from anything you need your own golf cart!  The golf cart was no regular golf cart...it was modified. It had a gun rack in it.  I kid you not. A freaking gun rack in the golf cart... Do I need to say it again to drive home the point?  And even more fun... there was a rifle in the gun rack on the golf cart, at the house the groom built, in the middle of nowhere Texas.  So much fun!  And I am mad at myself for not taking a picture of the golf cart when it had the rifle in it. I guess someone decided to remove the loaded weapon when small children started playing on the golf cart unsupervised.  Only then did I realize I missed this golden moment but took a picture of the gun racked golf cart minus the rifle-in-rack moment.  I could have shot myself in the foot for not getting a picture earlier, but someone had taken away the loaded rifle before the kids and I could get our hands on it.   

Very nice people, and we had a good time.  For those of you upset that I have not and probably will not mention "PO aka Plus One" often then please direct your attention to the right side of this page ----------------------> where you will see a link to a blog titled "PO." It is there you will get all you latest and greatest PO info.  (Note: that last sentence sounds so much funnier if you say it was a ghetto accent.)(is accent the right word? Do people have a "ghetto accent?" I mean you can have a French accent or New York accent... but can you have a ghetto accent? I think you can in europe...? that doesn't even make sense. Stop with the movie quotes).  Anyways, at the wifey's blog you will find pictures and almost a day to day account of the weird peanut alien growing inside her belly.  Why don't I write about PO, I can hardly keep up with my own day to day ongoings yet alone an ever growing and changing alien peanut.  I will leave that to the belly that it is growing inside of.

Anyways, today's WTF moment...

Seriously how do you get a gun rack in a golf cart?  Do you buy it like that? Is that a special redneck, um I mean Country special upgrade package?  Do you install/attach it yourself?  Wait... is that a CD player and speakers on that thing?!?  Seriously? seriously? no, seriously?

Drumroll please...

Sorry to make you all wait but we were loving your agony...
But we were kidding about kidding. Plus One is scheduled to be here October 15th. Wifey is almost 12 weeks along and feel free to check out her baby blog here. She wanted me to warn you that the blog isn't interesting but then again neither is mine yet you seem to find yourself reading anyways. So, it wasn't an April Fools Joke, but we are some April fools.
ARSM

Are we some April Fools or what??

Seriously... April Fools?!????