The wifey and I went to visit the Fam in Texas last week. Oddly enough the Tejas visit was planned before I found out I was deploying, amazing timing. We went back to see her parents and a friend of the wifey's from high school was getting married. It was a good time. We got to break the pregnancy news to people which was SO MUCH FUN. Well not the actual telling part but the toying with your emotions was fun. April Fools day is my favorite day of the year now. Ok, maybe not of the entire year but still...
Anyways at the wedding. Let me preface this with there are a lot of small towns in Texas. The wifey is from such a town and going back to visit brings up such fun filled and amazingly odd experiences for me. Now before I go and call this a redneck wedding (and I wouldn't do that since there is a chance now that I am linked to the wifey's blog and the bride or close friends could see this and calling them redneck might not be so nice) let me just say that people from small towns are very good people. They can be a bit country, but I call that more country casual. Whereas in San Diego, CA casual meant shorts, flip flops and t-shirt optional depending on if the sun was out. When I heard the wedding in "no-where's-ville" Texas was casual I thought flip flops and shorts. Apparently I was wrong. Redneck or country casual means you can wear the same boots you milk a cow in and you can wear your cowboy hat for the entire ceremony. It means one of the groomsmen is allowed to dip during the ceremony. Oh yeah, and ball caps (not baseball caps mind you) are allowed for the entirety of the wedding and reception, but only if the hat is: 1. camouflage 2. at least 10 years old, beat up, has sweat rings, and dip stains 3. Is worn not actually on your head but cocked back so the bill points upward and the front of your forehead and bangs show for at least 25mins of every hour, and 4. has either a "bass pro shop" logo on it, UT/A&M/other random texas college logo, or the local auto-body shop logo on it. Those are the rules people, I am sorry... I didn't make them, I just enforce them. If you want to complain write your congressman, Willie Nelson, or G Dub (George W. Bush).
Anyways back to Super Man's Big Country Adventure (I mean the wedding)... so we drive for like 45 mins down "roads" that would hardly be called roads in Iraq yet in America, but trust me they have road signs and street names, they just aren't paved, groomed, or maintained at all. But that's not an issue when you have your father-in-law's car (sorry, I tried to drive nicely but the rocks kept kicking up)... anyways. We finally get to a very nice house that was built by the groom (very Abe Lincoln-ish if you ask me, I mean the dude built his own house...seriously?) out in the middle of nowhere. I mean you could seriously shoot guns in any direction and 1. no one would hear you and 2. you wouldn't have to worry about hitting anyone. Again, really nice people. Anyways the icing on the cake, good cake there, was the golf cart they had. That's right, when you live a million miles away from anything you need your own golf cart! The golf cart was no regular golf cart...it was modified. It had a gun rack in it. I kid you not. A freaking gun rack in the golf cart... Do I need to say it again to drive home the point? And even more fun... there was a rifle in the gun rack on the golf cart, at the house the groom built, in the middle of nowhere Texas. So much fun! And I am mad at myself for not taking a picture of the golf cart when it had the rifle in it. I guess someone decided to remove the loaded weapon when small children started playing on the golf cart unsupervised. Only then did I realize I missed this golden moment but took a picture of the gun racked golf cart minus the rifle-in-rack moment. I could have shot myself in the foot for not getting a picture earlier, but someone had taken away the loaded rifle before the kids and I could get our hands on it.
Very nice people, and we had a good time. For those of you upset that I have not and probably will not mention "PO aka Plus One" often then please direct your attention to the right side of this page ----------------------> where you will see a link to a blog titled "PO." It is there you will get all you latest and greatest PO info. (Note: that last sentence sounds so much funnier if you say it was a ghetto accent.)(is accent the right word? Do people have a "ghetto accent?" I mean you can have a French accent or New York accent... but can you have a ghetto accent? I think you can in europe...? that doesn't even make sense. Stop with the movie quotes). Anyways, at the wifey's blog you will find pictures and almost a day to day account of the weird peanut alien growing inside her belly. Why don't I write about PO, I can hardly keep up with my own day to day ongoings yet alone an ever growing and changing alien peanut. I will leave that to the belly that it is growing inside of.
Anyways, today's WTF moment...
Seriously how do you get a gun rack in a golf cart? Do you buy it like that? Is that a special redneck, um I mean Country special upgrade package? Do you install/attach it yourself? Wait... is that a CD player and speakers on that thing?!? Seriously? seriously? no, seriously?
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